我的抗癌經驗(五)
做我所能，信我所做
1998年12月下旬，我帶著在舊金山一家醫院所做的乳房X光攝影透視檢查片子回台北，讓台安醫院的醫生再確認一下，我是不是確實得了乳癌。醫生看了片子之後，百分之百的肯定我有惡性腫瘤沒錯。我即歸心似箭，希望趕快回舊金山開刀，進行該做的治療。
回美前夕，台北的朋友在民生社區的一家餐館為我們幾位海外回去的人餞行，在座的包括知名作家曹又方等。她說，聖誕節過後，她也要到台大醫院「開腸破肚」看看，因為患有嚴重便秘半年了，各大醫院都查不出原因來。
1999年1月23日，我在舊金山加大醫學院附設醫院開刀拿掉腫瘤，接著進行電療及化療；曹又方在台大開刀後發現，她得的是三期末卵巢癌，癌細胞都已經蔓延到大腸了，所以造成腸阻塞便秘。她大手術後一星期，每天清晨5點，就跑到汐止跟一位氣功師學氣功，風雨無阻。堅強的意志力及求生的毅力，讓她得以不被癌症擊倒，且將抗癌經驗出書：「淡定與積極」，與社會大眾分享。這種常人少有的勇氣，令人由衷敬佩！
2002年，曹又方到亞特蘭大停留六個月，向來自中國大陸的李延明先生學「生命自救功法」。當年2月份，我到亞城探訪她，她勸我留下來一起學。我沒有答應。一來，我當時已恢復上班，不像她是專業作家，可以請長假；二來，我有自知之明，對於練氣功(包括各種氣功)，我不是百分之百的相信，恐怕不能持之以恆的練習。如果只是興致所來，蜻蜓點水一下，那鐵定不會有什麼成效的。
我當時還有個沒對任何人說出的私秘想法，即：「我們兩人就來個對照組吧：你練你的氣功，我什麼也不做，看看結果怎麼樣？」結果是：從罹癌治療之後，曹又方這麼多年來，繼續勤於寫作，又出了好幾本書。目前，她將工作重心放在中國大陸，經常接受電視台訪問，巡迴各地演講。2005年，我們還一起旅遊「絲綢之路」，參加世界華人作家協會年會等活動，她依然美麗、活躍；而我呢？重病之後，充分體認「生命無常」，擔心來不及做想做的事，便在2005年向報社提前申請退休。托天之福，我的癌症也一直在「控制」中，現在的健康情況一如常人，每天睡到自然醒。日常生活粗茶淡飯，沒有工作壓力，精神自由，與世無爭，一切隨緣，活在當下。
得癌之後，我雖然沒練氣功，倒也不是什麼健身增強抵抗力的活動都不做。但是，我「做我所能，信我所做」。過去幾年，我改掉了晚起的習慣，每天上午8點到住家附近公園走路半小時(特別要感謝好友Julia，她花了一年多時間，每天給我Morning Call，逼我起床)。後來碰到有華人同胞在公園練太極拳，我們也就跟著比畫。幾年下來，一周六天走路、打太極拳(星期天放自己假)，已經「習慣成自然」，偶而想偷懶不做，心裡都會覺得不舒坦。其實也沒人管，沒人逼我們一定要這麼做！學習太極拳，因為起步太晚，年齡太大，有些動作不能到位，「是不能也，非不為也」。但，俗話說，「活動，活動。」活著，就是要「動」！盡力而為，至少我做到了這一點，想必對抵抗疾病，延年益壽，有點幫助吧！
曹又方和我，在抗癌的道路上，我們兩人應該都算是「做我所能，信我所做」，方式不同，但有「殊途同歸」的效果。
留言
Dear Ms Yang:
It's me again.
Thanks so much for telling me of your experience again in fighting the cancer. I believe that the audience have also shown their appreciations as I do, and we have learned something from you.
Actually, before my wife died, she had done what you and Ms Tsao had done in order to fight the cancer (she had also read Ms. Tsao's story). For instance, She got up early at 6 am doing exercises, one hour in the morning and another hour in the afternoon, eating plain vegetables without oil, salt, and organic food doing chi-kung....however, she died in my arms with her last breath. For the past 16 months,I still cannot accept the reality. Some Christian friends asked me to go to church to pray for her and in the meantime, to save my despairing soul. I rebuffed and told them that if the God cannot save my wife's life how can I believe in your God to save my soul? God supposed to give us more good doctors with good heart. I know that I should be reasonable. This is only a complaint, what can I do?
I am so sorry to force you to listen to my complaint and share with my pain again. My suggestion to our female friends is don't be afraid to have annual check up. It can save life.
發表: Peter Hsu | December 27, 2007 04:37 PM
Dear Mr.Hsu：
如果我的抗癌經驗對讀者有所幫助的話，我很樂意當讀者的聽眾，不論留言是讚美，還是「complain」。
每一個癌症病例都是一個「獨立」的「case 」，醫生不能用「制式」的醫療方式來治療，而病人也有幸與不幸的結果。我台北一位同業，十多年前得了乳癌，開刀後不肯作電療及化療，每天「自暴自棄」，喝酒、抽菸、熬夜打牌，得知我患病後，還告訴我說：「放心，我想死都死不了！」到現在她還活得好好的！
對於癌症病人治療後的存活率、癌細胞的侵略程度等，我在2007月3月29日的布落格上文章有詳細說明，請參考。
我在化療期間，老母親在台病逝，我未能回去送終，是我無法彌補的遺憾。所以，你的傷痛，我能感同身受。但是，「Life goes on，」
相信你太太也希望你快樂健康走下去！
發表: 楊芳芷 | December 27, 2007 06:06 PM
Dear Ms. Yang:
Thanks so much for your kind words. I believe that every reader will appreciate your suggestions and opinions on fighting the cancer. I am feeling better day after day, however, I still think this world is unfair in some respects. In less than 10 months, I lost my wife (August, 2006) and father (May, 2007). That is a real pain.
Thanks again for listening to my complaints. Wishing you the best all the way.
發表: Peter Hsu | December 27, 2007 06:16 PM
~~~恭喜當選北加州華文作協會長~~~
發表: JN | December 28, 2007 09:44 AM
Dear Ms. Yang,
I have not written to you for a long while. First of all, congratulation for being elected to be the President of North California Chinese Writing Association!
You are very brave of sharing your anti-cancer experience with readers. It is also very encouraging to readers that you have been well and lived so lively and vividly. Just like you, I have been exercised every day and also change my life style including my job. I am happy with my new job. I am doing well so far and hope to be well for many years to come. I look up at you and wish you a healthy, happy, properous life.
Will you attend the Overseas Women Chinese Writing Association Biannual Conference at Las Vegas in September this year? I wish to meet you there. I also hope You-Fang Tsao can attend the conference. She is a brave woman as well!
Happy Chinese New Year!
Flower
發表: Flower | February 22, 2008 05:28 PM
Dear Ms. Yang:
With all my respect for you and your story on "228".
But to believe that if the government did open up, and reasonably settled the issue, then this "228" would not have been repeatly manipulated today.
Come on!!!!!!!
發表: IAMACHINESE | March 19, 2008 01:50 PM
Dear Ms. Yang:
With all my respect for you and your story on "228".
But to believe that if the government did open up, and reasonably settled the issue, then this "228" would not have been repeatly manipulated today.
Come on!!!!!!!
發表: IAMACHINESE | March 19, 2008 01:51 PM